This topic has been bothering me for a while, and I’ve honestly debated on whether to write about it, but I feel that it is something essential to go over. Mind you, I understand this is a book blog. But it is also my personal blog. Cheating is something that should be discussed, considering it’s appeared in millions of romance novels over the years.
My husband and I have been married for five years, and have been together for seven. High School sweethearts, turned parents, turned married couple struggling through this crazy world, we’ve had tons on our plate. But never have we cheated on each other (unless my hubby has some ‘splaining to do….).
It surprised me about a month ago when my husband talked to me about it, because it’s not a topic that most men want to bring up in a relationship. Apparently, a friend of his had asked him, “How have you stayed faithful for so long? That’s crazy!”. My husband is very honest with me (most of the time) and also mentioned a time when he was at a friend’s house by himself. I was at home with my daughter because I don’t like how this particular family’s kids play so rough. This ‘friend’ (who I obviously don’t like too much) was pushing my husband to cheat, and joking like it wouldn’t be a big deal, because there was another young woman there. My husband got really upset and ended up leaving.
I am blessed to have a husband who will tell me these things because not every man (or woman) is so forthcoming about such events. And it really got me thinking about how cheating has increased and become so socially acceptable in today’s times.
Statistics show that 57% of men and 54% of women have committed adultery. And let’s face it guys…that’s probably not a very accurate statistic. It’s probably much more than that. More than half of divorces are caused from cheating. I’m usually pretty blunt in my opinion of things, so I’m going to have to say it. This disgusts me.
I honestly don’t understand how people rationalize this. The emotional gratification that people get from committing such things cannot even be compared to the emotional gratification of giving someone your love and receiving it back. But I love him/her! Cool. Good for you. Not a good enough reason to cheat. I’ll tell you why.
The way I see it, if a person has lost the desire and affection for the person they are with, they should have the decency and respect to end the relationship before exploring new avenues. There are many reasons why people don’t: Kids. Money. Family loves them. Cool. Sucks for you.
They’ll never know. It was only once. I hate this. Chances of you keeping it a secret for the rest of your life are pretty slim. Maybe the guilt will eat you away, and you’ll confess when your old and gray, therefore killing the spirit and breaking the heart of the person. Maybe the person you cheated with will have the guilt, and come forward to confess. Maybe you got drunk and told some of your friends, and they couldn’t stand having that on their back. Or maybe, just maybe, you’ll be callous enough to do it again. and again. and again until finally your significant other gets suspicious. Why even put yourself and your relationship through this?
People have gone so far as to blame cheating on genetics. Let’s get with it people. Cheating is not genetic, it is a personal choice. An awful, painful, momentary choice that will drag behind you like a ball and chain.
The problem with cheating is not only the moral issues, but the emotional destruction it leaves in its wake. I wasn’t good enough. She/he is better looking than me. Am I that horrible in bed? I thought our marriage/relationship was great. These are all thoughts that will flash through a persons head when told that they’ve been cheated on. A person could become depressed. A person could have the self-esteem the size of an ant, all because of one decision. And, let’s face it, some people just get crazy and may kill the cheater.
Cheating. Just don’t do it.
Here is a beautiful letter from the gorgeous Emily Faulk written toward the woman her boyfriend cheated with her on. I love the acceptance that she wasn’t the problem, but that he was. Read it Here